We're home from our most recent prison visit and are exhausted as usual.  It was a good visit...hot, as everywhere in California has been the past few days.

No deep insights or tales to tell.  Just how nice it is to sit together, laugh, tell a few tall tales, ask probing questions, nosh on nibbles and generally make believe there are no walls.  Sometimes, it's even true.

Thanks again to all the friends and family who keep our friend, and us, in prayers and thoughts.  It really helps.

I mentioned earlier this week that I've been keeping track of how far I hit certain clubs (or, more accurately, how far I hit golf balls with certain clubs).  I'm happy to report after yesterday's golf game that the new driver Dan bought for me last week was a resounding success in its first outing.

We played yesterday at an undisclosed location in California, near the prison where we visit our friend.  The course is relatively new, pretty challenging in terms of greens, hazards (including water, dunes and sand).  We were blessed to be playing as a twosome and were practically by ourselves on the course--we teed off after a twosome that quickly pulled away from us and ahead of a foursome that was two holes back when we were on the third hole.

With my old, offset Cobra driver--and by old, I mean six months old--I was making great contact, hitting the ball really straight and driving an average of 130 yards. 

Not long enough by a great deal, in my opinion.  Dan and I diagnosed the problem last week as being the loft on the club (13.5 degrees) and went looking for a driver with less loft.  The only ones in the 11 degrees of loft category are not offset.  But I hit one of them, the Nike SQ, really well in the practice area.  So we brought it along for a test drive.

My drives yesterday averaged about 20 yards further and my longest drive, 174 yards, was at least 40 yards longer than my longest drive with my old driver.

With the help of that yardage, and with some well-struck 5-woods in the fairway, I had my best game ever--a round of 95 on a full course.  We celebrated by buying a golf towel to commemorate the occasion.

So, I have an addendum to my life lesson from earlier this week--keeping track of data can lead to real improvements in performance.  IF the date leads to new, better equipment.

I have been an advocate for equal marriage rights for years.  My journey toward this position began more than 20 years ago when several friends and family members, for whom I have the greatest respect and love, came out as gay.

As a fundamentalist Christian, I had a difficult time reconciling their declaration of sexual orientation with the teaching I'd received at church.  On the one hand, I had people I knew to be outstanding human beings, of whom a few were inspirational Christians.  On the other, I had doctrine telling me they were damned for being gay.

I remember quite clearly figuring out that I didn't understand the "truth" and that thus, I would embrace the example of Christ and choose love.  That choice begat a long journey, too lengthy to explore in a blog, which ended up with my conviction that a) homosexuality is not a sin and b) people are people.  Race doesn't make someone more or less human.  Gender doesn't make someone more or less human.  Wealth doesn't make someone more or less human.  In just the same way, your heterosexuality is no better, worse or "normal" than someone else's homosexuality.  We are all equally human with equal human rights.  As my friend, Erik says, "If you're human, you qualify."

Even knowing my conviction, I was unprepared for my emotional response today when reading the news accounts that the California Supreme Court has upheld the rights of homosexuals to marry.  I thought I would view such a decision, if in fact it came during my lifetime, rather dispassionately. 

Instead, I cried.  Because some of the people I know and love, who've been told for so long that they are second class citizens--now they can choose, like I did...like many of us did, to join their lives together in marriage.  None of the separate but equal nonsense proposed by the Attorney General--where straight people can "marry"  while gay people must settle for "domestic partnership."  At long last, the State has recognized that these wonderful people are fully human and fully entitled to the same rights as straight people.

Thank God.

The Court based its opinion in part on the 1948 ruling on Perez v Sharp where interracial marriage was allowed even though it had been illegal since the inception of the State.  The ruling "makes clear that history alone is not invariably an appropriate guide for determining the meaning and the scope" of the right to marry.

The opinion goes on to say, "These core substantive rights [to marry] include, most fundamentally, the opportunity of the individual to establish--with the person with whom the individual has chosen to share his or her life--an officially recognized and protected family possessing mutual rights and responsibilities and entitled to the same respect and dignity accorded a union traditionally designated as marriage."

And further, "an individual's sexual orientation--like a person's race or gender--does not constitute a legitimate basis upon which to deny or withhold legal rights."

Amen and amen!

I am quite confident that I am not the only one blogging this morning on the topic of Bush's golf sacrifice.  Even so, I am compelled to add my awestruck horror to the mix.

Here's the situation.  Bush was being interviewed by Yahoo! News for an article in Politico.  The reporter asked why he hadn't played golf in recent years.  Here's Bush's answer:

"I don't want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the Commander-in-Chief playing golf. I feel I owe it to the families to be as -- to be in solidarity as best as I can with them. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal."

Asked if there was a specific moment that led to his great sacrifice, Bush said, "No, I remember when de Mello, who was at the U.N., got killed in Baghdad as a result of these murderers taking this good man's life. And I was playing golf -- I think I was in central Texas -- and they pulled me off the golf course and I said, it's just not worth it anymore to do."

Let the rant begin.

Perhaps, Mr. President, you'll be in solidarity with families who've lost their son or daughter in the war when you freaking pull the troops out of Iraq.  What's not "worth it anymore to do" is continuing on the same course that is killing those sons, those daughters, those fathers, mothers, husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends...those Americans.  Let alone those Iraqis.

The idea that you've made some sort of grand gesture in not playing golf is almost laughable, coming from the man who asked Americans to go on a spending spree rather than make sacrifices for the war effort.  Almost laughable because the cost of your worrying about how it would appear for you to play golf during a time of war, rather than figuring out how to get out of the quagmire you've mired us in--well, that cost is incalculable.

It's all the people who won't be coming home.  The many more who've been coming home maimed beyond comprehension.  The loss of our nation's reputation and our allies' respect.  The billions of dollars we've wasted so you could oust a despot who was bluffing.  The years and years it will take to unravel the tangled consequences of invasion, occupation and bungling.

I, for one, can't wait until you hit the links again.  250 more days.  And counting.

I've embarked on a new process aimed at refining my golf game.  I am keeping track of how far I hit the ball with each club.  The theory is that, having that information, I will have an easy choice when making club selections and thus more confidence.

About midway through today's nine holes with Tom, Renee' and Dan; however, I slipped over the edge from "data gathering" into performance assessment.  As if there was some ruler in the sky that categorized hitting my 9 iron 100 yards as "good" while hitting it 80 yards is "bad."

Nothing, I repeat, No-Thing is worse for my golf game than when I start judging how poorly I'm doing against any measure.  If I'm concentrating on the current shot, the current lie, the current obstacles--I have a great time whether or not I hit a great shot.  But when I want to hit a great shot, when I invest it with meaning and importance...well, then it's practically guaranteed that I'll be miserable.

It's funny how much golf teaches me about life.  Because it's the same deal in living day to day.  If I focus on the here and now, the task that is before me, the moment I'm living--then I usually am fairly productive and even when I make mistakes, it's an opportunity to learn.  But if I focus on "shoulds" or on the pursuit of some gold standard of perfection, I often fall short and am, as in golf, miserable.

Funny how miserable and miser share the same root.  Wretchedness. 

I can be generous with myself in golf and in life by accepting my circumstances and doing my best, learning from challenges and mistakes.  Or I can be miserly with myself--holding back approval and building unrealistic expectations.

I vote for generous.  Data is good for growth and learning.  I'll leave the judging in more capable hands.

What a crazy thing!  Over the weekend, we installed a new modem for Dan's new computer.  At the same time, my computer went into blue screen death mode.  The nice fellow from Geek Squad who was here spent a great deal of time trying to figure out what might be wrong.

No joy.  Couldn't get the computer to boot.  At.  All.

Needless to say, I was quite cranky about the situation given that this was the third time I'd had a blue screen/hard drive crash in fewer than 20 months.

We trotted over to Best Buy this morning, toting my computer and voila, it was magically working.  Brought it back home.

No work.

So I went off fuming to my training appointment while Dan stayed here and problem solved.  Long(ish) story short...he figured out that despite what the Geek Squad agent had said, it was an incompatibility between my wireless card and the new modem.  So he disabled the card and I'm back in business.

Thank heavens ONE of us knows what they're doing with computers!  (And is an excellent problem solver.)

Even tho the problem is solved, it still set us back about 10 hours in terms of trouble shooting, disconnecting, connecting, more trouble shooting, etc.  So I will get back to folks on blog comments (which I've already been horribly neglecting) tomorrow.  Now I'm off to cook dinner and bask in the glow of my computer being alive after all.

Hillary Clinton says it takes a village to raise a child...in my case, much of that village has been composed of Mothers.  There is my first Mom, Charlene.  She has given me so much over the years from womb, breast, laughter, a love of reading, encouragement of independence, feminism, to belief in the power of dreams.  As an adult, she's given me forgiveness, friendship, more laughter, and freedom.

My second (in order of appearance in my life) Mom is Pat, my Dad's first wife.  I appreciate how she made this little stranger, her ex's step-daughter, feel at home and loved.  I never once felt second best with Pat--in fact, I felt special because I was a girl (okay, a bit of a tomboy, but a girl).  Pat did more than make room for me at the table, she made room for me in her heart and I'll always be grateful.

My third Mom is Dotty.  She gave me the gift of her son, and a wonderful husband, Dan.  And in many ways, she also gave me the gift of her other sons--all of whom I have loved intensely and immensely over 26 years of marriage.  Dotty also taught me a lot.  What it means to be strong beyond one's capacity for strength.  What it is to be feminine and yet cast of steel.  She's gifted me with her friendship and made me feel that rarest of things from a mother-in-law--that she truly likes, admires, and loves me.  And the feeling is mutual.

My fourth Mom is Mildred.  Mildred is mother to my friend, Shari.  Since Mildred's grandchildren are our godchildren, she's shared holidays and birthdays with us as we've watched Chad and Jeremy grow into manhood.  When I was going through some of my desert times in terms of faith and difficulties, Mildred gave me unconditional love that was a true balm to my soul.  I'm grateful for her generosity and compassion.

My fifth Mom is Sally.  She's the last to "join up" but in the 15 years since she married my Dad, she's become a centerpost to the Baldridge family and a Mom to each and every one of us.  I've learned from Sally how to be a calmer person, a better wife, a more giving daughter.  She has opened her heart to all of us and given without holding back.

Now that I think of it, that's the theme of all of these wonderful Moms.  Each and every one of them--Charlene, Pat, Dotty, Mildred and Sally--chose to make room for me in their hearts.  Today, every day, I am most grateful for their generous, warm love.

Happy Mother's Day!!

Took a day off yesterday, which was quite fun.  We snuck off in the afternoon to see Iron Man.  (One of the best parts about the sem-retired life is that you get to go to movies when the theater's practically empty...even when the movie's a hit.)

My short take on the movie is--great popcorn flick.  The plot and dialogue were about what one would expect from a super-hero movie.  What gives the film its "lift" is an exceptional cast and some fairly cool special effects.

Robert Downey Jr. does wonders with the role of America's foremost arms designer and dealer.  He's appropriately sleezy at the beginning, appealingly sincere in his conversion after being held captive, and delightfully child-like as he designs his Iron Man suit.

Gwyneth Paltrow brings depth to the role of Pepper Potts (this series'...yes there will be a sequel... answer to Miss Moneypenny).  She brings humor and warmth to the role of a gal friday in love with a boss she can't trust.

Jeff Bridges looks suitably intimidating in his role.  He's sporting a shaved head and a full beard, which adds to the effect.  Of the three actors, I'd say his was the least nuanced performance...but it still works.  He's such a good performer, I have to believe he was deliberately underplaying the role.

So, good summer fun.  Relatively guiltless despite some violence.  You do need to suspend your disbelief in order to enjoy the movie...and the faint, nagging thought that these actors are slumming a bit.

Overall?  A minus for the genre.

Phew!  I'm tired.  How about you?

We golfed this morning (not a stellar day for any of us but the Dobynses and the Morefields ALL had pars on the first hole...that's worth something. 

Somewhere. 

I'm sure of it.)

Then it was gardening day for me...planted two color bowls, weeded, trimmed and swept the front.  I love being in the garden, working.  It's the best combination of music (courtesy of Ipod), physical labor, nature and solitude that I can imagine.

Then I buzzed off to Orangewood Children's Home to get the tour and meet with various folks regarding how best to help their mentor program.  It looks like I'll be assisting their grant guru when I return from my early-June trip with Mom.

There are about 2500 kids (babies to high schoolers) in foster care in Orange County right now.  I saw a handful of them today at Orangewood and it shattered my heart to see each and every one of these displaced kids.  Thank God for the good folk at Orangewood and the many, many ways they help children navigate the already perilous waters of growth while under fire from above.

I'm so glad to become a part of this group.  It's humbling, scary, sad, and also full of hope that we will make a difference in these lives.  2,500 kids.

And their kids.

And their kids.

Believe it or not, it's nearly time to vote again in California.  On June 3rd, there will be a Statewide Direct Primary Election.  Bless the folks at the Secretary of State office for limiting us to two Propositions this time around.

Both propositions aim at restricting the State's right of "eminent domain"--the process whereby the State takes possession of private property for its own purposes.  Without going into extreme detail, these propositions were made necessary by a Supreme Court ruling in 2005 that found it legitimate for government to take possession of property in order to sell it to developers.  Most states have enacted legistlation restricting the right of eminent domain to instances where the "public good" is a public facility rather than a new shopping mall.

The two propositions on the ballot both call themselves Eminent Domain legislation.  And there are a number of fairly deceptive radio ads playing right now in favor of Proposition 98.  So it's important to understand that they are not equal at all.

Proposition 98 is broader in terms of the types of property owners protected.  It includes churches, small businesses and rental properties along with homeowners.  Unfortunately, it also has a section that eliminates rent control (and could allow all rent controls to immediately be lifted).  In general, I'm in favor of the limited use of rent controls although I'd welcome a well-written measure limiting rent control some time in the future.

But in this proposition, a particular sub-group of rent control--mobile home space rents--is included.  Since many mobile homes are individually owned  but placed on rental land, and because they're costly to move, they are a particularly good example of why some rent control is necessary.

There's also the potential that the measure will eliminate one of the most effective tools of city governments in promoting affordable housing, something called "mandatory inclusionary housing."  This is the process whereby cities require developers to include a certain number of down-market homes in their project.  Without this, there would be very little affordable housing in California--housing recession or not.

Finally, the money behind proposition 98 comes primarily from the real estate owners, property managers and mobile home park owners who would benefit from the lifting of rent controls.

For all of these reasons, I urge you to vote no on 98.

As for Proposition 99--it's a straightforward limit to eminent domain for the primary residence of homeowners.  I'd like to see additional protections for small businesses and churches in the future.  But it's a good start.  Vote yes on 99.

League of Women Voters agrees with me.  Yaay!