Hi all!

I'm a great aunt again!  Little (and I do mean little) Brooklyn Grace was born to a weary but happy Mom (Deanna) and a happy Dad (Tim).  She's adorable from the photos I've seen and I can't wait to hold her.

Instead of posting today on my own blog, let me refer you to the guest blog I did on the Beyond Breast Cancer website, run by a delightful woman named Marie.

There's lots of interesting posts on her blog, so take some time to explore, if you've got the time to spare.  (Tim and Deanna are exempt...new parents and all.)

Hello Peeps!

As the topper to my whirlwind non-chemo week, Dan and I played golf with Renee' and Tom today.  It was not my most stellar round...and I got a LOT peeved for about 2 1/2 holes...but managed to pull up before a full-fledged blow out.

And even with the anger management issue, it was an enjoyable morning.  (I'm allowed to get mad these days.  Such a nice change of pace and bit of grace to give myself.)

  The weather was cloudy and cool until the last two holes.  We ate a great lunch at the club, parted ways and then Dan and I came home to find Bob here.  We chatted till Erik got back and pretty much chatting sums up the rest of the afternoon.

We're going to build a meal communally in a few moments (pasta with pesto chicken for me and marinara chicken for the rest) along with sweet potatoes, broccoli and whatever other veggies we can scrounge up. 

Tomorrow, Chemo on Tuesday.  Which will have joys of its own...seriously.  I'll get to see the folks at the office (they're amazing, cheerful, funny folk) and I'll get some reading and maybe even a snooze in.

And I'll remember this past week's awesome memories.  Too cool.  Hope all of you are having an equally stellar day.

Dan and I drove down to San Diego yesterday (after playing golf with Renee' and my brother, Dean...we had a great time playing and I'm pretty sure Renee' beat me even though she didn't gloat).  The traffic getting into town was pretty terrible but we managed to be only an hour late hooking up with my chum from Jr. High/High School, Jean Marie.

I was there specifically to see her sweet peas...which had decided to give up the ghost that particular week, according to Jean Marie.  But there were still plenty of beautiful flowers and I could envision the sea of sweet peas that she was describing from earlier conversations.  And there were more than enough to make a posy for me, which I quite enjoyed.  We got to meet 3/5th's of her wonderful family, too.  They're all quite delightful.

From there, we hopped on over to Dad and Sally's house, had a little Mexican food with them, and then chatted until a fairly early bedtime.  Dan left early this morning to join Dean; Dean's son-in-law, Tim; and our nephew, Matt, for a round of golf.

Dad and I snuck out for a bagel and coffee at Einstein's Bagels.  By the time we got back, my other brother, Darrell,  was at their house hard at work on putting in their new porch.  We got in a nice talk (and threatened to board Dad into the new stairs--we only tease because we love, Dad) before I had to "shower for the Shower."

Then it was the main event--Deanna's Baby Shower.  Little Brooklyn Grace is well set for bedding, onesies, fun things like purses and tee ball sets, car seats, diaper bag and a gorgeous handmade decorative cake stand with little faux cupcakes on it.  I got to sit with Sally, Pat, June, Candy and Jeanne--all Baldridge gals of one sort or another--and it was very festive.  June kept us quite entertained with stories of her bird and  of her kids--Ainsley and Avery.  The shower was tons of fun and laughs...and the afternoon could not have been lovelier. 

We hung out for several hours there and back at Dad and Sally's before tackling the drive home.  I drove us back for the first time in quite a while and did just fine.  It's a gorgeous early summer evening here...the breeze coming over the hills from the ocean and the sun just about to set.

Which is good timing, since I'm just about to "set" myself.  What a wonderful weekend it's been already...and only half over.  Hope everyone out there is enjoying their barbeques and beach days...out of town visitors or just hanging with the home gang.

Happy Shower, Deanna (and Tim).  Looking forward to welcoming Brooklyn really soon.

A quick blog and then I'm "outie" (as in, headed for bed).  It's been a great two days.  Yesterday, we were joined by a table-full (a BIG table full) of friends at Shelter Partnership's annual fundraising dinner.  Great friends, a good cause, and a night of dress up.  All good except for the high heels...and I didn't get blisters so even that was not bad!  How I used to wear heels all day and never get blisters (and we're talking HIGH heels), I'll never know.

Today was about recuperating...I was so keyed up last night I couldn't get to sleep until about 2:30 a.m.  So I slept in until about 7:00...had a leisurely breakfast over Vanity Fair's article about Bernie Maddox...chatted with Erik (a tremendously fun phone call as we talked about everything and anything)...and then went for a five-mile walk/run where I jogged the most since the surgery.  1200 paces for those keeping score at home.

There were birds everywhere.  I saw a Snowy Egret fishing, a Common Tern and a Common Moorhen (with most uncommon coloring...green legs that are red at the top, a red bill with a yellow tip...black everywhere else) along with awkward teenage goslings and gorgeous little ducklings.  The walk/jog took me 70 minutes and it felt just great!

This afternoon, I worked on some reading (a friend's novel which has been a joy to read and critique, had a chat with Cindy and fixed dinner for Dan and our friend, Mike.  Then we were joined by Jay, Amy, and David...had a blast (which is still going on for them) but I'm off to nighty-night.

I've got some pending research to do on Obama's stance on a few things, courtesy of my friend Steve...with whom I often disagree on things political...so I should blog about Obama's stance on the Gitmo Internees sometime in the near future.

But tomorrow holds more fun.  Golf.  A visit with my best friend from Jr. High/High School.  Down to Dad and Sally's in preparation for my niece Deanna's baby shower.  (The real one this time.)

So if I don't blog, don't worry.  I'm out having fun.  Hope you are, too!

Several weeks ago, I got a gift from Tammy Knorr (twin sister of my sister-in-law, Cindy Morefield).  She had emailed me ahead of time to warn me that something odd was coming in the mail for me.  She called it her "dire visualization."

This is a photo of me at today's chemo infusion, holding the visualization tool.  Basically, it's a knitted representation of a tumor.  Inside, small balls of yarn feel like cancer cells.  You can pull on protruding strings, which I do a little each infusion, and reduce the size of the cells.  There are also red "veins" on the outside of the tumor that you can pluck off (mimicking the work of one of my chemo drugs, Avastin, that prevents tumors from growing by denying them the ability to form new blood vessels).

The nurses loved it.  I love it.  I do my regular visualizations and then I remove parts of the knitted tumor.  The red string around my wrist came off today and represents the blood vessels that are coming away from the tumors in my body.

One of the nurses shared with me today that few people actually do visualizations.  I admit that it felt a little hokey to me at first, but I also had a very bottom line thought about making it part of my "living with cancer" aresenal: how can it possibly hurt?  It relaxes me, it forces me to attend and listen to my body, it incorporates a sense of hope and control that feeds my soul.

So thank you, Tammy, for the dire visualization.

Oh, and thank you Pat for the prayer quilt.  I told you I use it at each chemo!

I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts on visualization.

Today was waffle day at Chez Morefield, so we started the morning with whole grain waffles and some amazing blueberries from Trader Joe's.  After a fun morning together, we headed off to the OC Airport to pick Chad (our godson) up on his return from Vegas where he'd hooked up with his high school friend.

We had a nice lunch at Maggiano's where I was treated to lemon cookies and wished "Happy Mother's Day" based on the assumption, I suppose that Chad is my son.  (There were times where Shari would call him my son, but mostly when he was misbehaving and she wanted to give him away rather than kill him...<grin>)  Then we were off to see the national tour of Grease, in which his NY room mate/College chum, Bridie Carroll, is playing.

The production was a lot of fun.  I enjoyed Bridie's performance, of course.  She has a beautiful voice and a wonderful stage presence.  She and her partner for the show (Will Blum) have a great natural chemistry and were a joy to watch.  I hadn't expected to really enjoy the show, but found it to be quite fun since I am a long-time fan of the movie, all things 50's, Rizzo and a sucker for love stories.

My only quibble with the show, other than an early missed note by a principal who shall remain nameless, was Taylor Hicks as Teen Angel.  He dialed in his one number in the show (to deafening screams from the audience), missed timing deliberately on the closing number (I suppose to "make it his own"...if that's what he's doing, he should learn at the feet of Emily Padgett (Sandy) who managed to make all of the well known songs her own rather than a parody of Olivia Newton John by infusing them with her own interpretation of the notes and inflections).

And then, to my utter confusion, after the end of the show we got a "preview" of one of the songs from his new album.  Grease to adequate country western without warning can be quite jarring.  I'm sure it's in his contract, but the producers should reconsider having him do self-promotion after the close of the show.  Truly tacky.

However, as I said, I quite enjoyed the show overall and we loved having dinner with Bridie between shows.  We asked her to tell us stories about Chad and ended up instead regaling her with our stories of his growing up, the first time we saw him dance and said, "Oh my God, he can DANCE."  So many great memories.  Dinner at Pinot in Orange County was delicious and I indulged in a glass of cabernet...a rare treat these days.

We're home now and settling in to watch Slings and Arrows with Chad.  Lovely to have this time with our "son."  Lovely to be alive on such a gorgeous day filled with so many delights.

As many of you know, we had a little "baby shower" down in San Diego this weekend.  Baby shower being code word for a carefully orchestrated surprise Baldridge family birthday party for Dan.

The idea got started (as my brother, Dean, noted in his roasting comments) two years ago when my Dad's first wife, Pat, gave (what she thought was) her final 50th birthday party for Dean.  She commented that she was done and Dan piped up with the idea that since his name began with "D" (as do the 4 Baldridge boys' names) and since he'd been in the family quite a long time, he deserved a party, too.

Enter Pat, Donna and I.  I asked.  Pat hosted.  Donna did the work (along with help from the next generation, Deanna, our niece...and nephew Matt's girlfriend, Erin).  Dad and Sally conspired so that it looked like Sally was taking me to a baby shower and Dad was taking Dan out to dinner to pass the time.

Dan was completely surprised (Woohoo!) and a festive time was had by all.  Unfortunately, my hands shook too much (a little excitement!) to take really decent photos...I'll weed through them (and fix my photo program) and post them later.

Happy 50th Dan...and congratulations on being part of our wacky clan for nearly 28 years! 

(Full disclosure:  This email is about Dan.  I know I have been given a "my life is not blog fodder" directive by said person but in this case, an exception was warranted.  IMHO.)

Dan's brother, Steven, and his partner, Kevin, are safely arrived from North Carolina.  We have a variety of activities lined up...movies, possibly a Legoland venture for the two Morefields-by-birth, a jaunt to the beach and Monday we are headed to the Getty Villa and a festive dinner in Santa Monica.

All in all, a good excuse to hang out and relax with people we love.  Nice, eh?

The other "visitors from North Carolina" that I want to blog about is a wonderful independent film called Junebug.  We saw it the other night and while the film was not to Dan's taste, it was right up my alley.

The film is about many things: culture clash in America between blue states and red states, "elites" and "just plain folks;" stifled histories in an emotionally constipated family; the definitions of art; hope and loss.  The extremely engaging aspect of the movie to me was that one had to participate actively in viewing the movie--I found myself concentrating on the ways that the characters illuminated different themes in the movie without the director or writer once telling us what we should think, what the movie was "about," or how we should feel about the characters in their different moments of extremis.

There was a saying back in the screenwriting classes I was privileged to take with David Gerrold and D.C. Fontana:  Show, don't tell.  (I realize David and Dorothy were not the only ones to say this, nor the first ones to say this--I think, but they said it often enough with my scenes that I hear it in their voices.)

This movie does exactly that.  It shows us what it's like to take the risk of escaping a stifling environment while loving the people you left behind.  It shows us the cost of staying behind.  It shows us the cost of hope in the face of crushing loss.  It shows us how differently people define family and what being part of a family requires.

And not once did the film lecture...no characters waxed philosophical.  The movie just evolved naturally from the interplay of characters.  Sort of like life.  And better than reality t.v. ever dreamed.

If you like independent films, if you are content to let story unwind from character, then I urge you to rent or buy Junebug.  Exceptional performances, too, by Amy Adams and Embeth Davidtz, among others.

Dan and I had just a fabulous day yesterday.  After running errands in the morning (which is one of my favorite things to do with Dan, believe it or not), we played a round of golf (18 holes!) in the afternoon.

It was supposed to rain on Friday afternoon according to the forecasters, but as you'll see from Jon Stewart in a moment, predictions of weather, the stock market (and even how "healthy" one is), can be WAY off beacon.

As a result, we had a sunny if windy day...a few clouds here and there...and a golf course that felt like we were the only two on it.  We started the round with a single ahead of us and no one behind us that we ever saw.  We had a relaxed (if somewhat less than stellar from a score perspective) round.  I shot a 105, which is about average for me...7 strokes over my index.

There were lots of wonderful things to see on the golf course.  Wish I'd taken my camera!  There was a gorgeous tree in full pink bloom, set off amongst palm trees and just to the side of one of the lakes (the one I didn't go in).  There were coots, ducks and geese aplenty.  Flowers are starting to bloom and the course is in excellent shape after recent rains and the diligent efforts of staff.

I find golf even more enjoyable than I did before because I take it a lot less seriously (and maybe take myself as a golfer less seriously).  As I told Dan's brother, Bill, cancer sort of puts golf in perspective.

(He laughed uproariously, fellow golfer that he is, and I was quite pleased.)

And speaking of perspective, my friend, Erik, forwarded a link to me of Jon Stewart talking about CNBC's financial "advice" over the past year or so.  It's worth a look so I embedded it below.

Hope your day is sunny and your endeavors all pay dividends today, gentle readers.

So I guess that means I get a bonus weekend day this week.  Nice since that means I get an extra day with Dan as well!  Maybe we'll go hit a bucket of balls since the rainy weather is supposed to push off until Monday.

When I'm supposed to be hitting the golf course for the first time since surgery/diagnosis.  I'm hoping the rain will hold off.  Please join me in going outside and blowing your air out in a northerly direction tomorrow.  If enough of us do it, I may get on the links!

I haven't glanced at a newspaper today, so nothing by way of political opinion to offer.  We had a nice waffle breakfast (Dotty taught me to put blueberries in the little squares...what a great way to eat waffles!)  Later, we went to Las Brisas in Laguna Beach for a delicious lunch.

Dick and I both had sole with a light lemon sauce, capers and spinach in between the layers of sole.  Green beans and Spanish rice completed the plate.  I followed up with a bowl of fresh berries in a basket that closely resembled peanut brittle except with almonds.  Yum!

Since then, we've been puttering around the house.  I've done a bit of cross-stitch, went for a 50 minute walk and just finished my core exercises and stretching.  Nice all the way around for a Saturday that felt like Sunday.

Tomorrow, early, Dick and Dotty will head back to North Carolina.  It's been a great visit and I so appreciate them making the long, tiresome trip out here to see us.  We've had some great outings, some delicious meals, lots of loving (and tough) conversations...truly a time to treasure.