Just a quick blog today...I have to work a bit on the novel and then get ready to go to yoga.  Which means eating, changing, driving over and putting in 30 minutes of writing time over the next 90 minutes.  Cutting it close!

I did want to post a celebratory note in honor of a special occasion.  Yes, it is Dad's birthday but that's not what I'm talking about.  (Happy Birthday again, though, Dad.)

I went to the driving range this afternoon with my friend, Renee' and hit a bucket of balls.  I have a little bit of a twinge around the surgical scar...but otherwise it wasn't bad (and I was so darn relaxed because there was NOTHING on the line that I was hitting the ball pretty well!).

It's all part of my plan for getting back on the course.  I'm hoping to play three or four holes this weekend (after the rains pass).  It felt good to be out on such a beautiful day, to hit the little white ball up into the net, to be with a friend.

So yaay!  And now to the page that beckons.

Dad and his friend, John, play golf together every Tuesday and Thursday. They like to get out early.  I think I've overheard John say that the reason for this is that if you have a lousy game, there's still most of a day to turn things around. 

Since I'd stayed over to play golf with Dad, John, and my brother, Dean, this morning--I found myself being roused from sleep by a tap on the door at 5:07 a.m.  I've long since discovered that even though I don't enjoy getting up early, there are certain things that make it more than worthwhile.  Golf with Dad, John and Dean definitely qualifies as "worth it."

When we got to the course, there were only two other cars in the parking lot.  Die hards, too, no doubt.  We were quickly joined by Dean and John, teeing off at about 6:15 a.m.

The round didn't start well for me.  I shot a six on the first hole (these are all par 3's) and a five on the second.  Pretty much, I averaged 5 per hole from there until the 7th hole.  Then things started to slowly pull together and by the back 9, I had three pars in a row at one point.

I was glad that Moira never showed up during the bad holes.  I suspect that her no-show was due to some self-talk prior to the game where I figured out my goals (enjoy time with men I love, practice my game...which it's needed a lot of lately).

We had a very enjoyable round...everyone had shots that were great and everyone had shots that were less than stellar.  But as Dad pointed out, only one of us got a birdie.

Congrats, Dad!

"One thing I never could stand about Santa Carla...all the damn vampires!"

That's one of my favorite movie lines (from The Lost Boys...a great 80's vampire camp-fest) and it somehow seemed appropriate for this All Hallow's Eve.  I've had a whirlwind of a day.  Gardened in the morning (lots of trimming, fertilizing and yanking...needless to say, the green waste can is full!).  then I tried to put together the e-vite for the annual Baldridge Thanksgiving party--did a bit o' wrasslin' with evite.come and had to abandon the project in midstream so that Dan and I could go play 9 holes at our club.

We pushed carts, so it was a good workout...somewhat enhanced by the fact I wasn't playing as well as I'd like (again).  Moira showed up for a few holes.  Since it's Halloween, I'm just counting that as my costume.  Not sure Dan would agree, though.

By the 8th hole, I'd pretty much put a stake in Moira's black heart.  It was a good thing, too.  8 is a par four.  I hit a nice drive, an off-line but well-struck second shot.  Then I holed the approach shot for a birdie.  My first birdie ever on that hole...and likely my last.

I laughed loud and long at getting a birdie on the next to last hole of a fairly bad round.  The irony. 

Of course, something like that keeps you coming back, so we're signed up for tomorrow.  But for now, we're putting up our feed while waiting for elusive trick-or-treeaters to figure out that there are full-sized candy bars awaiting them on our quiet little street.

Hope the ghosties and goblins are nice to you!

It's been a couple of weeks since I've been on the golf course...and boy did that show today!  My front nine was the worst its ever been on this course.  The back nine was better...but still not "good."

Nevertheless, I was pleased with the round for a couple of reasons.

1.  I got out and played!  My new friend at the club, Tina, and I have made a sort of loose pact to play together on Tuesdays.  I was tempted, after little sleep last night and fighting of a cold this weekend, to give it a pass today.  But I stuck with my plans and got a good workout (cart path only and 118 strokes means a good workout)...and I enjoyed the time with Tina.

2.  Moira didn't show up.  Some of you may know my evil twin, Moira.  She usually only shows up on the golf course these days, when I'm not playing well.  As an evil twin, you might imagine that she's not the most pleasant person to be around.  She pouts.  She pounds the ground with her golf club.  She calls me an idiot, a loser and (sometimes) worse.

Quite refreshing that she didn't show today. 

3.  Instead of Moira, Laura showed up.  I had reasonable expectations of my play for the round (that proved to be wildly optimisitic in retrospect).  When the first two holes turned out so horribly, I was able to adjust those expectations even lower.  As a result, the round never turned into a referendum on myself.

4.  I enjoyed playing with Tina.  Two great things about Tina as a golf partner are that she plays her own game (so she doesn't worry about yours) and she is an encourager at heart

At the end of the round, I was exhausted, hot, mildly annoyed by my disappointing score and happily surprised by my ability to stick with myself through a horrible round.

Honestly, I think golf is more than a game.  It's a growth medium for (appropriate) self-esteem and life skills.  (And, apparently, a way to exorcise one's evil twin.)

That's the title of a song that's been on my I-tunes list recently.  So very apt for me.  Dan retrieved me from the madness that is LAX last night, waiting for me at baggage claim with a cheerful smile.  Despite the commute time to pick me up!  (How lucky am I?)

Then we visited (and watched Three and a Half Men reruns) while I wound down.  To sleep.  To dream.  And what a difference in the quality of my rest when I'm not sleeping alone (even crossways) in the king sized bed.

I rose early (3:00 a.m. Hawaii time and 6:00 a.m. in California) and played golf with a friend of ours, Tom.  Dan and I usually play with Tom and his wife, Renee', on Wednesdays.  But today Tom and I were on our own. We discussed everything from past bosses to current politics (an unexpectedly similar voting decision) to life and golf.  In between, we had a great round.  Tom shot a 79 and I shot a personal best, 93.

So...I'm thinking at some point tomorrow I'll get on the horse and start the research process into California Propositions.  I'll spice it with a bit of Presidential campaign commentary.

But for today, I'm going to relax after a dinner with Dan.  Hang out.  Go to bed ridiculously early (for either Hawaii or California time).  And enjoy coming home.

I've been on a universe-imposed hiatus from the blog since arriving here on Monday night.  For whatever reason, the internet decided not to work on Tuesday morning.  Nothing I could do (with or without the help of cable tech support folks) brought it back to life.

So I took it as a sign that the Power that is thought the world would chug along just fine without my armchair quarterbacking.  I made good use of the time, working on the house, shopping for replacements to items that have gone walkabout, meeting with folks, snorkeling, walking along beautiful Alii Drive and, today, golfing.

It was my first ever time to go for a round of golf by myself.  I was a bit nervous but I went anyway and am so glad.  My tee time was 6:28 a.m. and I was scheduled to play with a couple from Canada.  When the woman said nervously that she didn't really play much, I offered to play ahead since there weren't any other folks scheduled on the course for an hour.  She looked quite relieved and off I went.

Which leads me to the lessons.

#328:  Ask for what you want, but be prepared to participate in making it happen.  I had said a quick prayer, asking for the opportunity to play alone.  When I got to the pro shop and found I was scheduled with this other couple, I gave an internal shrug and was prepared to play with them.  But when I talked to the wife, and observed that the husband was a bit slow getting out there...it seemed to me like God was saying, "It's up to you."  So, I asked for what I wanted again and lo and behold, I was playing alone.

# 976:  I am primarily responsible for me.  This one seems obvious, so bear with me.  Sometimes, on the golf course, there will be better players ahead of one's group and also behind.  This results in an uncomfortable "squeeze" where the group behind is waiting for you and the group ahead is off the green before you make it to the tee. 

In such a case, one needs to "pick up the pace."  This has been a source of discomfort for me over the years because I try to not only pick up my own pace but to compensate for everyone else's pace as well.  So I rush.  I don't concentrate.  And I play even worse (and thus slower) than before.

Playing by myself today reminded me that the only thing I can control on the golf course is my own game...and imperfectly at that.  I am responsible for my game, not anyone elses.

In life, I think it's much the same for the most part.  Unless one is a mother or father, or a caregiver to a dependent adult, one is only responsible for oneself.

This is not to say that we don't have responsibilities TO one another.  Of course we do.  We make commitments and want to fulfill them.  We are in relationships that require compromise and investment.  We love people and so want to be helpful to them, of use.

And in each of those cases, we are not responsible FOR the other party.  We are responsible for our own actions and others are responsible for theirs.

In life, and in golf, we can only play our own ball.

 

Phew, what a day!  I got up at 6:00 a.m. for a session with my personal trainer followed by 30 minutes of cardio.  My legs are still sore, but I pressed 180 lbs with my legs (and no lower back pain...that came later...with the bicycle crunches).  Back home to fix breakfast.  Then off to the dentist (or really the dental hygenist who suggested that I might want to floss a bit more frequently).  Back home to fix lunch.

In between lunch and a business meeting, I spent time exchanging emails (that made me feel like I'd already blogged about 3 days worth) with a libertarian friend of mine. 

Which leads me to today's fill in the blank question.  A special prize to whomever comes up with the best answer (according to my arbitrary selection) posted on this website to the following:

The only thing more verbose than an exchange between a writer and a lawyer is...

Three hours later (only a slight exaggeration), I had a golf lesson (it's all so easy when the pro is there) and then met Dan for dinner.

Oh...and in between all of that, I found myself whistling a new tune, set a few words of poetry (using the term very loosely) to it, then transcribed the snippet into musical notation using several websites.  It's a duet and I've got the two opening phrases for man and woman to sing.  (It could also work with same-sex couples.)  Amazing how useful the internet can be to someone who took two years of piano, two of clarinet and two of guitar in writing music.

Again...using the term very loosely.

Now...I know this day sounds pretty idyllic.  And I'm not complaining (except for maybe the time spent educating the libertarian).  But it was busy for a semi-retired ex-banker.

And busy felt pretty damn good.

(Oh...and laundry...did I mention the laundry?)

We had a good time playing golf at Cottonwood's Ivanhoe course this morning.  The first tee time was at 6:15 a.m. with Dan and I joining Lori Butters and Steve (whose last name escapes me), both of whom I went to Jr. High with.  I remembered Lori right away but it took a while to remember Steve.  They were delightful golfing companions and we had a good round.

Dan won for closest to the pin on the 4th hole.  I won for lowest gross score (it was me against Lori so I had a 50/50 chance).  I ran into a few other folks I knew from High School; Mike Howell and Perry Wright amongst them.  Very fun to see how folks have turned out.  Nice bunch of "kids" I went to school with. 

Now it's time for a nap and then getting ready for the shindig at Paradise Island tonight.  I think I'll be home pretty early but Dan's betting I'm not home until 10 p.m.  Something about my being chatty.  Hmmm.

 

I've been struggling for the past few weeks with my golf game...hitting some great shots amid a field of not so great shots.  I took a lesson that helped while the pro was there, but not the next day.

One of the things that I've not been doing is focusing on playing within my own limits or "playing my game."  I've been spending a lot of time worrying about how I "should" play--how far I should hit a club, how easily I should be able to get out of the sand, etc. 

But not today.  Today, I accepted the realities of my game.  The limitations of my ability plus practice plus luck (there's always luck on the course).

And voila!  I shot my best ever on this course, a 95.  Only the 2nd time I"ve posted a score that low.

Now, I don't pretend the entire answer was my zen-like acceptance of my game...but I do think it was about 80% of the battle.  Golf is nothing if not a mental game.

And I think it's a good metaphor for how powerful we become when we let go of the "shoulds" in our lives.  When we put away the ideas we've absorbed about others expectations of us.  When we get nice and comfy in our own skins.

That's when we are at our best, not some imagined level of perfection.

And what can be better than our best?

Some days there are just so many things bouncing around that it's difficult to come up with a single topic for one's blog.  Today?  Such a day.

First up, a link to a website courtesy of my friend, Kelly Bozza--author of a great book about how to make a difference in the world by making every Monday matter. The Every Monday Matters website (lovingly known as EMM) puts out a weekly newsletter.  Yesterday, it contained this link about "Johnny, the bagger."

It's a seemingly simple story about how a young, developmentally disabled man, took a customer service challenge to heart and changed a grocery store.

When you look deeper, though, the story speaks to all of us.  What can each of us do to make the day special for each person we encounter.  A smile?  A hug?  Really paying attention?  Giving someone else priority in line, in traffic?

What can you do right now?

Next (and on a wildly different level), how cool is it that Richard Branson literally unveiled his new space-going aircraft today?  Granted, at this point the short jaunt into space (two hours tops, it sounds like with a mere four minutes of weightlessness before coming back to earth) is only for the ultra-rich at this point.  Folks who can blow $200,000 on an adventure and bragging rights.

But this sort of innovative, barrier-shattering engineering is what propelled us into the industrial age.  What gave us air travel and combustion engines, movies, radio, internet...and what will take us to the next level of invention.  Bravo Branson. 

Now if we can just apply American ingenuity to clean energy...

Lastly, lessons learned through golf. 

As some of you may know, I am a tad competitive at times.  (Just a tad.)

So it was a wonderful experience today to hit a solid seven iron up onto a par 3, closest to the pin.  And to be able to enjoy that moment even though my partner (sweet woman named Cheryl) hit her shot about three inches closer to the hole than I had, no more than two minutes later.

To be able to enjoy my shot, and then to celebrate her besting me is perhaps one of the most profound moments of change in my adult life.

Maybe "they" were right all along.  It's not about winning or losing.  It's about doing your personal best.