I've been on a universe-imposed hiatus from the blog since arriving here on Monday night.  For whatever reason, the internet decided not to work on Tuesday morning.  Nothing I could do (with or without the help of cable tech support folks) brought it back to life.

So I took it as a sign that the Power that is thought the world would chug along just fine without my armchair quarterbacking.  I made good use of the time, working on the house, shopping for replacements to items that have gone walkabout, meeting with folks, snorkeling, walking along beautiful Alii Drive and, today, golfing.

It was my first ever time to go for a round of golf by myself.  I was a bit nervous but I went anyway and am so glad.  My tee time was 6:28 a.m. and I was scheduled to play with a couple from Canada.  When the woman said nervously that she didn't really play much, I offered to play ahead since there weren't any other folks scheduled on the course for an hour.  She looked quite relieved and off I went.

Which leads me to the lessons.

#328:  Ask for what you want, but be prepared to participate in making it happen.  I had said a quick prayer, asking for the opportunity to play alone.  When I got to the pro shop and found I was scheduled with this other couple, I gave an internal shrug and was prepared to play with them.  But when I talked to the wife, and observed that the husband was a bit slow getting out there...it seemed to me like God was saying, "It's up to you."  So, I asked for what I wanted again and lo and behold, I was playing alone.

# 976:  I am primarily responsible for me.  This one seems obvious, so bear with me.  Sometimes, on the golf course, there will be better players ahead of one's group and also behind.  This results in an uncomfortable "squeeze" where the group behind is waiting for you and the group ahead is off the green before you make it to the tee. 

In such a case, one needs to "pick up the pace."  This has been a source of discomfort for me over the years because I try to not only pick up my own pace but to compensate for everyone else's pace as well.  So I rush.  I don't concentrate.  And I play even worse (and thus slower) than before.

Playing by myself today reminded me that the only thing I can control on the golf course is my own game...and imperfectly at that.  I am responsible for my game, not anyone elses.

In life, I think it's much the same for the most part.  Unless one is a mother or father, or a caregiver to a dependent adult, one is only responsible for oneself.

This is not to say that we don't have responsibilities TO one another.  Of course we do.  We make commitments and want to fulfill them.  We are in relationships that require compromise and investment.  We love people and so want to be helpful to them, of use.

And in each of those cases, we are not responsible FOR the other party.  We are responsible for our own actions and others are responsible for theirs.

In life, and in golf, we can only play our own ball.

 

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