That's funny, Sally (ironic, not ha-ha), because earlier I started to answer the question but decided not to do so. The piece of advice I most remember? "You're too young to get married." (Last thing my parent said to me before I went down the aisle.)

We celebrated our 20th anniversary last month.

Well, you asked for it:

During my VERY BRIEF fling with liberalism, when arguing politics with my father (a LIFELONG Democrat, BTW), I was promoting some utopian scheme, and he looked at me like I'd grown a second head, and said, "You want the GOVERNMENT to do this?? Boy, have you been PAYING ATTENTION??? The Government can screw up a one-car parade!"

And, he was right, of course.

Ken,

Do you feel you were young (not "too young," but young) when you look back?

I ask because when I look at photos (and think of how much Dan and I have changed over the past 27 years), I feel like we were such kids, setting out on such a brave (almost foolhardy) adventure.

I'm sometimes amazed we've stayed together having married so young, but then I think about the man I married...and various iterations of the man I've been married to (and he likewise has had different Lauras over the years)...and all of the work we've done to get through the rough patches.

That's when I realize it's not about how young you are when you get married. It's about how well you grow together.

That and a fair share of good fortune, laughter and the support of family and friends, too.

Congratulations on the 20 years (again). That's quite an achievement these days.

Steve,

Very funny!

Of course, government is not alone in its ability to screw up a one-car parade. Plenty of businesses and individuals do so with some regularity.

You may be interested to know that I was a conservative when I first became politically aware.

That had changed by the time I got around to voting, however.

Nice having you "here"!

<i>Do you feel you were young (not "too young," but young) when you look back?</i>

Not really, no.

A huge gloss of that would probably end up sounding like the man "doth protest too much" but I had a number of things that happened in childhood that made me grow up pretty quick.

Certainly, I felt old enough to understand what I was doing and to make an important life decision.

In my experience, most advice that I've received in my life (particularly unsolicited advice) has been passive-aggressive (and you know how much I love p-a behavior) more about getting the adviser's thoughts on the record so that he can say "I told you so" rather than in the hopes that it would be of genuine help to the advisee.

But part of what Sally's response made me realize is that it in my example it was probably the timing (context) of the "advice" that made it memorable not the content.

So, maybe a modification might make it more in the spirit of a typical Sunday question--what was the <best> piece of advice you remember getting?

In that case the answer would probably be when the same parent said to try not to take own a lot of debt early in your adulthood.

First, it turned out to be right on the money (no pun intended), but secondly it was advise given in direct response to a specific request advice (i.e. I noted how many people at my summer internship hated their jobs and hence their lives and wanted to know how to keep that from happening to me) and hence more likely to be listened to and heeded.

I should have prefaced my little saga, by saying that I was an only child. That alone puts somewhat of a different slant to my dad's thinking.Suffice it to say that I was VERY spoiled and he probably[and rightly so] didn't feel that I would be able to cope with the give and take that marriage requires. I will say that to my credit, I lasted 30 years.!!!!!

Ken,

Your point about your life experience and how it forced you to grow up sooner than most is well taken. I remember feeling awed by how much life Dan had lived already, how much pain he'd survived...and I felt quite inexperienced by contrast.

I was positive he was the right guy though...and interestingly, I also was advised not to marry him (like Sally was). Not by my folks but by my wedding coordinator!

Regarding unsolicited advice, Erik has a new guideline: "No unsolicited advice to adults!" I find that I like the concept very much.

As an experienced passive-aggressive, my unsolicited advice was most often an attempt to mould behavior along lines I found acceptable rather than anything else.

I do find with Chad and Jeremy that it's awfully difficult to allow the roles to change from "quasi-parent who often gives unsolicited advice" to "interested adult friend who trusts them to make their own decisions (mistakes or not)." They're the ones with whom I most often break the Erik-guideline. But I'm working on it!

As to your best piece of advice...it wasn't one we grokked until a few years after our marriage. We got into debt right away (and with some vigor) and it took us a while to dig out. Painful, but an excellent life lesson.

Maybe that's a hidden advantage to being the youngest. Nobody wants your advice growing up, so you don't acquire the habit of giving it out all the time. :)

Laura, regarding the vegetable rules, you forgot to mention hiding the Brussela sprouts in your milk.
My rules were as follows:

Propriety

How sad we must wait so long to become Participants.
I was weaned early from the cup of primal urges
In the name of propriety:
Keep your legs together.
Don’t speak to strangers.
Mind your manners.
Nice girls don’t say, “Shit!”

I spent the second half of life learning to be free –
To become a participant in that from which I was protected.
All the pleasures earth placed at my fingertips
Would not send me straight to hell.
I am a good woman, slow to bloom.

And they lied to me.

I didn't hide the brussel sprouts in my milk, that was Charlie!

I like that poem more every time I see it, Mom.