I read an inspiring opinion piece in the LA Times today, written by former
Wall Street Journal correspondent, current free-lance writer and homeless person, Les Gaspay.

He wrote about the shape of his life since he became homeless.  About the loneliness of estrangement from his family and the deprivations that come with living out of one's car.

And he also wrote, with grace and poetry, of the things he sees that few folks do.  Cranes, pelicans, constellations observed in solitude.  He speaks of a faith that has been deepened and broadened by his experience, by loss and even by anger.

I get that.  I've had some of my most productive and illuminating conversations with the Creator when I'm most angry and upset at him for what seem to be capricious or unjust events.  Our friend's trial and imprisonment come to mind.  The illness of another friend's son.  Times when I have turned to God demanding answers and gotten only the reminder that I am not in charge, I'm not God.  That I don't and I won't get the answers I demand in the time I want them. 

And hardest of all, but also most blessed, is that I'm not supposed to understand it.  I am simply to have faith, believe in God's goodness and witness the amazing ways we humans can take care of each other during times of extremity.

It's just Dan and I together this Thanksgiving.  We hadn't planned for things to work out that way but here we are in our quiet house, surrounded by music, post-rain clouds, birdsong and rich with love.  Rich too with the memories of Thanksgivings past...noisy kitchens, bursting tables, too many conversations to keep up with, smells of the turkey cooking growing until it climbed the stairs and literally filled the house.

We have a feast here this year.  May your Thanksgiving be likewise blessed and full.


 


Comments

Kenneth R. Morefield

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 11:45:43

Hi Laura,
Your post today reminded me of this quote from Jacques Ellul that I ran across yesterday:

"I knew all too well, in true orthodoxy, that it is very wrong to look to the biblical revelation for an answer to the question one is asking or with which one is faced. I knew, in true orthodoxy, that it is God who questions us and who awaits a response from us, not the other way around."

I know a lot of Christians who would find that blasphemous--but it rings true to me.

Hugs,

Ken

 

Laura

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 18:55:06

Hi Ken,

That's certainly how I view the dynamic between us and God (or better yet, between me and God) these days.

I also tend to see prayer not so much as a chance for me to change God's will (although there are certainly instances of that *sort* of thing in scripture), but more of a chance for God to hear my hearts desires (which he already knows but sometimes I don't) and for him to shape me to better serve him.

I find rote prayers comforting (The Lord's Prayer, the 23rd Psalm) but the real work of prayer, for me, is in the listening more than the asking.

There's a great song by Steve Schalchlin about the nature of prayer (called "Where is God?") It ends with the lines, "My grandmother told me just before she passed away, she said she had the answer to the question of the day. She said the saints and sages had been telling us for years, but no one wants to listen, no one seemed to have the ears. Then she turned to me and said, 'If God has hands, they're your hands. If God has eyes, they're your eyes. And if God is love, it's your love.'"

Seems like this is connected to the Ellul quote to me.

 



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