My friend, Bev Sykes, posted a great blog about having a non-traditional Christmas.  Inside the blog was this gem of a quote:

"And what's Christmas if you aren't feeling guilty about Emily Post's displeasures?"

Amen, sister.  About 10 years ago, I started taking Christmas back from my unspoken assumptions and rules about the holiday (not the least of which was making a Christmas house for kids Dan and I had never produced).  Doing so required the breaking of rules, some unbending of my heart and saying goodbye to certain parts of the tradition.

Which leads to the Sunday question (and assuming there are folks of other than Christian faith who drop by the blog):

What holiday tradition has it been most profitable for you to break?

 


Comments

Sally

Sun, 21 Dec 2008 07:51:30

I was raised to believe that everything has to be absolutely perfect on Christmas. That includes the house, the presents, the food, my kids, and anything else that I held myself responsible for. [never end a sentence with a preposition] Along about 5 years ago, I discovered that the world would not come to a halt if a silver wasn't polished! The strange thing is that no one even noticed!!! From that day on, I relaxed and enjoyed, I mean really enjoyed my family.

 

Bev

Sun, 21 Dec 2008 07:58:26

First, thanks for the plug.
Second, once the kids left home, I think I started breaking all of them, especially last year when we didn't even get a huge tree, but just a tiny one. That was a tremendous load off my mind!

 

Hal

Sun, 21 Dec 2008 09:12:00

We just had my entire family over yesterday for an early Christmas. Instead of all the traditional holiday food we instead had a huge pizza party and I think it resulted in the most enjoyable and stress free Christmas we've ever had. Off to Jill's family next weekend so we'll see what happens there.

 

Erik

Sun, 21 Dec 2008 13:06:56

Traditions I've had to break at Christmas: ALL of them.

1) Stop going home. For various reasons most Christmas times in my history were anywhere from a drag to truly sad. The single best thing I ever did about Christmas was stop going home to my family for Christmas.

2) Give up the gift thing. I think of all the brutal stress and worry I've given away in my life to Christmas gift buying, and it makes my brain ache. NONE of the people in my life need a DAMN THING except my love, contact and support. This they have in spades. Anything else is window dressing, and expensive window dressing, at that.

3) Christmas travel. Given a) how insane the seasonal travel can be, b) the teeming hordes traveling around me and c) the emotional and psychological baggage that seems to hang over so many families (stressed people in airports, in roadside restaurants, in hotels, etc.) I thank the Maker that I can just stay in my home, call or Skype those I love, curl up on the couch next to my Man and watch DVD's instead of travel at Christmas.

Having said all that I am in the process (as Laura knows) of remaking Christmas and this season into something I can love and enjoy. It began last year with Christmas lights on the eaves of the house. This year the lights expanded to cover some of our bushes out front, and I helped Laura and Dan assemble their magnficent Christmas tree in the front room. In addition I'm letting myself listen to various Christmas music I used to love (then following up with some Nickelback or David Cook, to cleanse the too-ooey-gooey feelings stuff.) :) And I plan to join Bob's family for Christmas dinner. All good, thoughtful steps.

I look forward to a Christmas shorn of the crap, re-framed and re-storied to a time of relaxing, joyful communication and sense of community with the ones I love.

Erik

 

Sally

Sun, 21 Dec 2008 15:08:18

Erik,
You said everything I was trying to say, only so much better. Thanks. Sally

 

Hal

Sun, 21 Dec 2008 16:24:33

Well said Erik. In fact, so well said that I saved a slice of pizza for you! I'd offer Laura some but I don't know how well she'd tolerate it right now.

 

Laura

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 13:08:58

Really, Sally, we've noticed about the silver. And we've been talking about it all this time.

<wry grin>

Not so! It's all about getting together, enjoying each other and being family. Thanks for being such a centerpost of ours!

 

Laura

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 13:10:28

Bev,

We had a teensy tree for a few years and I quite liked them. Even got one to grow on the back hillside after the season was over!

We've also taken to not putting anything up on the tree we do have (prelit, 9 foot...oofda!) and just letting the lights be the decoration. Kind of nice!

 

Laura

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 13:11:44

Hi Hal,

One of the things we do at the Baldridge Party (which we always hold on a non-holiday weekend so that the most folks can attend) is vary the menu. Sometimes Italian, sometimes Mexican...about the only thing we haven't done so far is a Baldridge Chinese Christmas.

Enjoy your upcoming shindig!

 

Laura

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 13:12:48

Thanks for your thoughtful response, Erik...and for your helping me to parse all this stuff for myself over the last five years.

Oh...and for Bob's amazement at my Christmas card adventures. (It's October...gotta start writing my cards.)

 

Laura

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 13:13:22

Hal,

I'd tolerate pizza just fine by now...as long as it's veggie!

 



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